Why does anyone like the Holidays?

I'm sitting here at work, illegally sneaking on the net to blow off some steam in between calls. Right now I have to take calls for a major retail chain dealing with their first day of post-Christmas returns. Few of my fellow workers seem to have smiles, the people calling on the phones seem to be either in a frazzled hunt for a last minute toy or gift for an obvious weekend trip, or attempting to find away to return the toy/trinket/trifle they recieved yesterday and broke, busted or simply did not want for as much cash as they can possibly get. The most interesting item asked for so far, is the "pregnant Barbie doll" which I have to wonder if this is some sort of internet hoax. Or creation of a mad scientist. Pregnant Barbie? Obviously, with those breasts, milk production won't be a problem, but I have serious doubts about any kid making it through those hips. And would Barbie ever put up with a Cesarian scar? Never mind all the issues about Barbie and birth control. With Ken obviously gay, who is the father? GI Joe finally get back from leave and have a wild thing fling before getting shipped off to Afghanistan? As an independant woman of the 21st century, hasn't Barbie ever heard of birth control? Or for all of these years, was those come hither eyes and pouty succubus lips affixed to some born-again fundamentalist troglodyte? We all knew Barbie was no virgin, we didn't need the lingerie Barbie to tell us that. And really, did Mattel object that much to the S&M version? Was it really they were worried about the "damage" it would do to Barbie's rep? Or the fact that she was finally out of the closet? Now we know what she really does to Ken in the basement of that dream house. And we won't go into the fact all her friends seem to be younger females. Hmm, a tall blonde with a flock of young impressionable women hanging around her... Mustang Ranch Barbie will probably be next years collectable.

Okay, 1710 (that's 5:10pm for you non-European or militarily challenged types) and being able to be absurd in an absurd world (and blanket a friend of mine with SMS messages as well) has managed to make checking to see if Grand Theft Auto: Vice City was in stock somehow bareable. Now if I can just last 4 hours and twenty more minutes.

Till next time...